Forgiveness is one of the most powerful things that we can do in order to release negativity in our own minds and bodies. In the words of Nelson Mandela, not forgiving is like drinking poison yourself, then expecting your enemy to die. Therefore, forgiveness is important first and foremost for YOU. I have therefore decided to share this forgiveness process with you all which I have adapted from many different ones I have seen over the years.
Try it if you are feeling that there is someone in your life which you could do with “releasing”, in terms of the negativity you feel towards them. This doesn’t mean that they need to be in your life, but it will ultimately make you feel at peace.
The Forgiveness Process
1. Close your eyes, and for a few seconds picture the person who has hurt you. Let all your negative emotions come up. As you do this, notice the feelings that you’re feeling in your body such as rising tensions, quickening heartbeat and shallow breathing. Promise yourself that you do not want to feel these emotions again.
2. Now light a candle and focusing on the flickering flame. If you don’t have a candle, close your eyes and imagine a candle flame in front of you. Let yourself take some deep breaths. As you breathe in, imagine that you are breathing in plus signs, and as you breathe out, imagine that you’re breathing out minus signs. As you breathe, you’ll notice that your body will automatically feel more positive and the negativity will be drained out of your body.
3. Once you feel your body filling up with positivity and calm, start to picture yourself in a beautiful place with someone who supports you and that you trust. This person can be someone you know, someone imaginary, God, an older version of you or anything or anyone you feel has the wisdom to guide you. Let your mind fill itself with the joy, peace and beauty that this person and this place brings you.
4. Now imagine that the warm feelings you’re feeling from the place and from the person supporting you are like a smoky, protective shield. Imagine that the feeling is flooding you from within and creating a protective barrier around you so that no negativity is allowed to penetrate it. Allow the barrier to soothe you and let it protect you.
5. When you feel safe in that place, with your barrier around you, imagine that the person that you’ve experienced a disconnect with has come to that place. From the most loving part of you, say what you need to say to them, including all those things that can’t be said. Don’t hold back – this is your chance to have that conversation! Ask your chosen guide from step 3 to help you if you need them.
6. Now imagine the most beautiful, loving, part of them. Underneath all that ego, what would the purest part of their soul say to you in response to what you’ve just told them? Have that conversation now. Take as long as you need to finalise the conversation.
7. Once you’re finished having the conversation, ask yourself if you are willing to forgive that person; not to condone what they did, but to give yourself freedom from feeling that negativity.
8. Finish the exercise by taking a few last deep breaths, keeping the protective barrier around you and breathing the good feelings that you feel into you. Now take a look again at the person you are angry at. Let the good feelings protect you. The purpose of doing this step is to break the pattern of stress reactions that normally occur in your mind and body when you think of the person who hurt you. When you surround your heart with positive energy, the power the person has had over you begins to dissipate.
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